Naming my blog right

Today I discovered I named my blog and page correctly. I am the mom of two monsters. As they were constantly fighting and screaming today while I suffered what was the beginning to a beautiful (read horrid) migraine. If you suffer from migraines, you know how it is, light, sound, smells, thoughts, breathing and sometimes living is difficult. I usually know when a migraine is coming. I feel it and I can see it. Call me crazy, but I see the fuzzy blurry outlines of things and know it's coming like an unwanted visit from a relative. (Not that I don't love relatives, but you know you have days when everyone is unwanted) Today I knew I was hitting epic migraine status and my children could sense it also. They knew that every little scream, cry, complaint, whine, and sound would make Mama want to curl up in a ball and not leave the confines of her completely dark and cool bedroom. (black out curtains were invented by a migraine sufferer I'm convinced.) I think once Frog saw the tears forming, he knew Mama was serious about her head. So what does he do? Take me by the hand and leads me to my bedroom and says "Mama, lay down and I'll be right back." He comes back to me with a cool wet wash cloth and lays it across my head and kisses me on the cheek. He then takes Turtle to the living room and sits down to play Lego Batman 2. It's sad that my 6 year old has seen me suffer from these enough to know what to do. He keeps his little brother as quiet as possible while I lay in my bed feeling like my head will explode and/or I will possible vomit until I have nothing left of me. Luckily  it calmed enough that I could function enough to shower and take them to my grandmother's for a few hours so I could come home and prepare to die. My migraines can knock me out of it anywhere from a few hours to days. I've been to doctors, neurologists, had MRI's and CT scans. I have nothing to take to fend them off or take when I get one. I quickly hit my $1500 deductible on my insurance trying to see what was causing them. I was told there was a spot on my brain, but it's nothing serious. Umm...How is a spot on my brain not serious? How is it some people can walk in to a doctors office and leave with any kind of medicine they want, but I can't get anything to help with my migraines that I've suffered with for almost 18 years? I'm going to try another doctor to see what can be done, I hope and pray this time, I can at least get something to take once one hits. I'm a stay at home mom, I can't be down with something for days. No 6 year old should know what to do when Mama says she has a migraine. No 6 year old should know what a migraine is or how it can effect someone. Thankfully, I have him to help out when their dad is working. I'm one super blessed Mom to two little monsters. 

Getting to know me.....

Judging from the title, you know I have two kids. Two full of energy, 110% little boys. The oldest is 6, We'll call him Frog, since he has this adorable little frog I got him for Valentine's day 3 years ago. My youngest is 4, we'll call him Turtle, since that's what his dad, Bean, has called him since he was born. Bean, my hubby, well, that was his nickname growing up. Bean and I have been married for almost 8 years. We didn't date for a long time, but we love each other to the moon and back. Other days, we'd like to kick each other to the moon and back. 

Anyway, I'm a stay at home mom, although for how much longer we aren't sure. Since Turtle is supposed to start school next month. With the pre-school program around here, it's a guessing game. Do you make too much money? Do you have any disabilities? Can you count to 1 trillion in Spanish? Greek? Alien? The list goes on. I do know, that if they tell us he can't start, I'm going to have one heart broken little man. I can't say that Mama will be too heart broken, I feel like my babies have grown up and left me already. But anyway. I love being home with my boys, I love being able to have play time with them, but also being able to clean and cook and make the house somewhat presentable. Let's face it, I have kids, my house is not spotless. I have a husband and kids, plus a dog, and a moody cat. Never spotless, usually it's somewhat acceptable. But let that phone ring and someone say, I'll be there in 15 minutes, guess what? I fly in to cleaning mode and wow! It's amazing. Anyway, I'm off subject. I love being a stay at home mom, although I miss having conversations about things other than cartoons, Batman and poop. Because we all know how important those three things are. At least how important they are to little boys. I miss having the extra money to stick back or go out and buy nail polish with (not that I don't buy it, I just like being able to buy it whenever) Or to surprise Bean with something that I actually bought for him that he didn't really pay for. I also miss the free time I had while working. Crazy right? Not really, that free time I had was not stepping on Lego's, or picking up random food off the floor (if I get to it before the dog) I love love love my children, without them, life isn't worth living. But once in a while, Mama needs Mama time. But let my kids go spend the night with their grandparents and I'm the Mama that says, "I miss them so much." Alone time with the hubs? Usually we pass out from exhaustion. 

But back to me, I love to make people laugh. It breaks my heart to see people sad or hurting. I want to see people smile, to hear them laugh. Not much feels better than laughing until your sides hurt. Laughing so hard, you start snorting. That, my friends, is what I call a good time. I love my friends. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I recently cut out a few people that were only in the friendship for what they could get out of it. I don't feel like I'm owed anything, but sometimes, I feel like the only reason I have some of these "friends" is for the free therapy they can get from me. I feel like a therapist sometimes. Everyone calls me with their problems, which I honestly, don't mind. Even random strangers feel the need to share with me. I don't mind, but when I finally feel like I can't hold in my tears, frustration or fears, I need someone to share them with. Those so called "friends" weren't there for me, like I was for them. Some of these friends I had literally known my entire life. Sadly, we're no longer "friends" in real life, mostly on Facebook. Like random statuses, comments once in a while. See each other on the street and they look the other way. I don't have time for that. I do have a few close friends that are like sisters to me, that I would fight for any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Those friends are the ones that know when I'm upset, and when I need to spill my guts. The ones who can look at me and know I need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. And for those friends, I'm forever grateful. They're my family. With out family, I don't know where I would be. 

But I must go, my monsters need me.