Anyway, I'm a stay at home mom, although for how much longer we aren't sure. Since Turtle is supposed to start school next month. With the pre-school program around here, it's a guessing game. Do you make too much money? Do you have any disabilities? Can you count to 1 trillion in Spanish? Greek? Alien? The list goes on. I do know, that if they tell us he can't start, I'm going to have one heart broken little man. I can't say that Mama will be too heart broken, I feel like my babies have grown up and left me already. But anyway. I love being home with my boys, I love being able to have play time with them, but also being able to clean and cook and make the house somewhat presentable. Let's face it, I have kids, my house is not spotless. I have a husband and kids, plus a dog, and a moody cat. Never spotless, usually it's somewhat acceptable. But let that phone ring and someone say, I'll be there in 15 minutes, guess what? I fly in to cleaning mode and wow! It's amazing. Anyway, I'm off subject. I love being a stay at home mom, although I miss having conversations about things other than cartoons, Batman and poop. Because we all know how important those three things are. At least how important they are to little boys. I miss having the extra money to stick back or go out and buy nail polish with (not that I don't buy it, I just like being able to buy it whenever) Or to surprise Bean with something that I actually bought for him that he didn't really pay for. I also miss the free time I had while working. Crazy right? Not really, that free time I had was not stepping on Lego's, or picking up random food off the floor (if I get to it before the dog) I love love love my children, without them, life isn't worth living. But once in a while, Mama needs Mama time. But let my kids go spend the night with their grandparents and I'm the Mama that says, "I miss them so much." Alone time with the hubs? Usually we pass out from exhaustion.
But back to me, I love to make people laugh. It breaks my heart to see people sad or hurting. I want to see people smile, to hear them laugh. Not much feels better than laughing until your sides hurt. Laughing so hard, you start snorting. That, my friends, is what I call a good time. I love my friends. I don't have a huge circle of friends. I recently cut out a few people that were only in the friendship for what they could get out of it. I don't feel like I'm owed anything, but sometimes, I feel like the only reason I have some of these "friends" is for the free therapy they can get from me. I feel like a therapist sometimes. Everyone calls me with their problems, which I honestly, don't mind. Even random strangers feel the need to share with me. I don't mind, but when I finally feel like I can't hold in my tears, frustration or fears, I need someone to share them with. Those so called "friends" weren't there for me, like I was for them. Some of these friends I had literally known my entire life. Sadly, we're no longer "friends" in real life, mostly on Facebook. Like random statuses, comments once in a while. See each other on the street and they look the other way. I don't have time for that. I do have a few close friends that are like sisters to me, that I would fight for any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Those friends are the ones that know when I'm upset, and when I need to spill my guts. The ones who can look at me and know I need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. And for those friends, I'm forever grateful. They're my family. With out family, I don't know where I would be.
But I must go, my monsters need me.
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